From: @jaredM
My wife asked if I could replace two light fixtures last Saturday, and I said sure no problem. So this is how it went:
7:35am turned off the breaker.
7:36am somebody’s screaming because Fortnite lost internet connection.
7:39am the toddler woke up due to aforementioned screaming.
8:00ish had to wake everyone else up to start breakfast.
8:05pm I was asked how much longer the lights were going to take.
From: @bigtimetim
My daughter started driving a few months ago and one of the things I kept telling her was to stop letting the gas tank get down to basically nothing. She kept telling me she knows how far the car can go once the light comes on.
So yesterday at about 4:30 she calls me and the first thing she says is “before you say anything...” I cut her off and said “Send me a pin, I’m on my way.” I picked up milk when I stopped at the gas station but when we got home I was informed that we don’t drink 2%.
From: @flyfishin_dude
The homework assignment for my son was to build a bridge out of popsicle sticks. It was somewhere around the second hour I found myself alone in the garage calculating where the supports should go while he was outside digging in the dirt. The next day he went to school with a rash from the poison ivy but his bridge got a B.
